Concrit - Questions - Notes Etc.

[faustianphantom]

Let me know how I'm doing, but keep the golden rule in mind!

Thank you for your feedback~ :)

Comments

[sinandservitude.livejournal.com]

Thank you for being my Ciel, my Cain, my friend. Thank you for listening to me when I'm hurting, for understanding when something's wrong, and for recognizing the traits in myself that I don't see sometimes, or at all. It means so much, especially when I don't always have someone like that offline-- at least when I'm online I know I have all those things in you.

I know this isn't a concrit, but I hope that from now on your HMD will be more pleasant to look at because of this.

[psychometer]

Hi! Just wanted to drop by to give my two cents on how you've been playing Ciel so far at Mostly Harmless. First off, I'm happy to see how you're keeping up Ciel's noble and aristocratic nature. You've got his basic characteristics down pat. Him looking down on others is actually kind of fun even though a majority of the refugees are older than him. That sense of superiority is a good way to create interesting tension and thus more interesting CR. I think playing against him with my OC shows some flaws in how I play her personality-wise and that's a good thing! It makes me re-evaluate my own character and see where I can improve with her.

However, I wanted to voice one concern since I've been reading other threads with Ciel and I find some of his reactions and replies a bit... Jarring? Don't get me wrong, you're still in-character, but I think I started to feel a bit uncertain when we left off with how my OC mentioned Queen Elizabeth the II and Ciel sort of brushed off that mention. I figured he might at least be like "Oh, hey you still have a queen in the future huh?" But I think that's just a minor thing so tl;dr.

I think after reading the threads through your last post, I just want to maybe remind you that Ciel is still a thirteen year old kid. Yes, he is a child who's gone through traumatizing situations and it's perfectly understandable how jaded, cold, and adult he sounds. But I think the reason why I brought your last post up was because I see a lot of his fellow refugees being pretty friendly towards him and I think he could probably react to them better? The thing with being young is that you're still easily influenced and he is being surrounded by various characters from all different walks of life and perspectives. While his responses are IC, they're not quite developed or show him to be a three-dimensional character (although the thread with Rapunzel was quite good at showing me otherwise, but it's not as apparent in other threads). And saying he doesn't care about other people's opinions (unless he meant he doesn't care about what other people think about him which is different altogether and was actually addressed in our thread together) is a bit odd seeing as how he made a public post asking questions and opinions WILL be stated... so either way he'll need to take what other people say into account because he is simply out of his element and environment.

Basically, you're still doing good work with Ciel. It'll be interesting to see how he tries to seize/manipulate/investigate the going-ons of the S.S. Thor to further his position as well as dealing with the other refugees. Keep up that cold aristocratic child, but don't be afraid to branch out with other sides of his personality that aren't exclusively the latter that was mentioned. Keep up the good work! ♥ If there's anything you disagree with or have question on regarding this crit, by all means feel free to point out such things a;ldfsk I'm so bad at trying to sound thoughtful TAT

[queens-guarddog.livejournal.com]

I understand exactly what you're saying, but from Ciel's arrival point (in canon), he has been thrown into not just one new world - but two. If you recall the Circus Arc, he wasn't very polite to anyone - though he did go through the motions (thus why he is doing his work without much bitching). Yet he is still very cautious about letting people get close to him. His defensive outside is his way of keeping his own world alive in some small way.

When he meets someone new, he does not - and will not - trust them right off the bat or listen to what they have to say. The reason why he warmed to Rapunzel is because she has actively sought him out several times. She even welcomed him with a water bottle when he first arrived. Therefore he is reluctantly opening up to her a little bit.

As for your OC, he hasn't talked with her enough to get really in-depth. Yes, he was pleasantly surprised that the monarchy continues in the future, but so what? The monarchy has been around for centuries. In his mind, he would expect nothing less.

I hope to soften him the more he communicates with others. But, thus far, he has been put into a lot of embarrassing positions (with his jobs) and he just isn't happy with his position on the ship. As that changes, he will be more welcoming to those who want to know more about him.

I appreciate your crit and I hope you understand my thinking process with him. There are certain characters that I can see him softening towards - mostly the young females like Rapunzel, Namine and Lien: but he needs time. He doesn't do well with a complete change in environment/circumstances.

[psychometer]

Ah, yes that makes complete sense! I think I understand your interpretation better now. It also helps that I know what direction you seem to be steering him in. I look forward to tagging him more then! :)

[queens-guarddog.livejournal.com]

Likewise! ♥ :)